


Disillusioned

by shichan



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, a bit of angst but that was implied when I tagged lionheart, handjobs, lionheart references, they're graduating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shichan/pseuds/shichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe this is what they’ve always been supposed to do. Every tragic story begins like this: people meet, they start to like each other and then something happens. It’s a pretty stupid pattern, that’s what Izumi has thought since he had come to dislike fairytales.</p><p>(Knights' last performance before Leo and Izumi gratuate, and there are still so many unsaid things.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disillusioned

**Author's Note:**

> "If I fail with the plot I can still tag it as pwp, right?" this is how I started writing this fic, but I still don't know if I failed. *laughs*  
> I'm not really good at nsfw, when it comes to writing but I'll be happy if you can enjoy it even just a little bit!  
> (Forgive me all you LeoIzu supporters if this sucks. *cries*)
> 
> As always, thank you naripolpetta/mofumanju <3

Maybe this is what they’ve always been supposed to do. Every tragic story begins like this: people meet, they start to like each other and then something happens. It’s a pretty stupid pattern, that’s what Izumi has thought since he had come to dislike fairytales. Because there’s always someone who ends up saving the heroine; he tried too.  
Leo’s gone. Izumi failed.  
It hurts so much.

  
The last notes of their song gradually fade, while the audience enthusiastically starts applauding them: some of their fans cry, too moved by Knights’ last performance. Well, _these_ Knights’ last one, since he and Leo are the only two graduating next week. It has felt incredible: every light on the stage, every word they have sung, every look they have exchanged has been perfect. Izumi couldn’t have asked for a better goodbye-performance. He’s a bit emotional too – he notices Arashi patting Tsukasa’s head, and Tsukasa crying while he babbles something about how much he doesn’t want this to be their last live all together. They act as he expected to, following the nature he has learnt to know and appreciate, even if he doesn’t intend to say it.  
That first year will be a great Leader. Knights – _his_ Knights – will be a great unit.  
Izumi looks at Ritsu, and then he focuses his attention on Leo: their stupid ( _former_ ) leader is making fun of Tsukasa, patting his shoulder and laughing, spouting nonsense. They’re all covered in sweat, exhausted, and yet they are all satisfied. Because it couldn’t have been better than this. Leo looks at the audience and points a finger to the sky; their fans go silent, like he’s used some kind of magic.  
«Wahahah, did you like our last performance?» he shouts, with that stupid laugh of his. Someone in front of them say something that sounds like how they don’t want this to be the last time. Izumi looks at Tsukinaga, almost expecting him to say something stupid but he doesn’t. He stays quiet for a moment and then smiles, with his green eyes serious and focused on all the people that have followed them during these three years. There’s something in his gaze, something that is a bit hard to recognise. Izumi breathes in and out. «Thank you all for your support.» it’s how Leo continues «Knights will still be here next year. Our Suou will try his best to become your new, worthy King. Please bear with his mistakes. A real King knows when it’s time to abdicate: I know he will be better than me, one day, so I ask you to follow them— to follow Knights until then so that you’ll be able to see our new King with your own eyes!» and then he’s taking Tsukasa’s wrist in his hand, raising both their arms in the air. A deafening applause welcomes the last speech of Knights’ King Tsukinaga Leo.  
Izumi looks at him. Something twists in his stomach.

  
Sena looks at the dusty, abandoned classroom. It has not much in it – desks against the walls, an old blackboard and some boxes that are probably full of old objects nobody uses anymore. He has conflicting thoughts about the room: he remembers too well how he and Leo used to practice there. In his memory there’s a Leo Izumi’s not sure if still exists somewhere or not: the one who loved to write music, and making fun of him; the one whose songs were always put in Izumi’s i-pod. A boy who sometimes seemed distant, in his own world made of weird, difficult, sad thoughts. Sometimes Izumi has thought of how it would’ve been if he had asked more questions, or if he had tried to understand better.  
Then he remembers to himself that Leo _had run away_ , and Izumi doesn’t know if he’s forgiven him the moment Leo came back.  
Sometimes he’s overjoyed just thinking “ _he’s finally back_ ”. But there are also times he hates him because—  
«Oh, Sena.» Leo’s voice calls his name and Izumi stays still for a bunch of seconds. When he turns around and he sees him, it’s almost like time goes back; Izumi shakes his head, sighs, and then he allows himself to look at his King. They are both still wearing their unit uniform; Leo’s hair is slightly sticking to his forehead and his ponytail is a bit of a mess. He’s taking off his gloves and he puts them in his left pocket.  
To be honest, Izumi doesn’t know what to do: when Leo came back he didn’t know how to react, deep inside. He was _happy_ , but he was also angry. He wished he could punch him in the face, but with the Judgment and Tsukasa he had decided to stay quiet, to act as the Knight he’s always been. He knew that what Leo showed them wasn’t all there was to. The fact that Leo would always say “ _my_ Knights” even when he was talking about how much he didn’t deserve them, had told Izumi what he really wanted to know back then: Leo still wanted to be part of their unit. Of _his_ unit. And Knights had kept fighting while waiting for their King – _Izumi_ had kept fighting.  
«It’s a bit nostalgic, isn’t it?» Leo says, looking around and chuckling a bit. Izumi raises his eyebrow skeptically and Leo, when he notices it, pouts: «Shouldn’t you be happier, Sena? Our performance was great! Perfect! I think I’m inspired to write a song just to celebrate!» he starts rambling and walks around the room like it’s the first time he sees it.  
«It would be a song of heroic accomplishments, and great efforts! About the lyrics… I can feel the music already! Something like… da-dadan-da-da… ah, I should write it. Why don’t you sing it for me, Sena?»  
Izumi doesn’t know why. He knows Leo better than anyone else – he knows how that stupid King can be infuriating, how he’s completely tactless and absolutely selfish. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise. And yet a little, old part of him can’t _believe_ how Leo talks like nothing has ever gone wrong since the day they used to sing in that classroom. And that’s the only thing Izumi really can’t stand; he pretends he doesn’t feel guilty at all when he pronounces a single sentence.  
«You were never heroic. How could a coward write about heroic accomplishments.»  
They look at each other, without saying a word. Izumi knows what kind of face he’s making; Leo, in front of him, seems to be thinking about what’s the best response to give. Izumi has never been good at predicting the other’s answers or his decisions. So when he sees Leo’s lips parting to say something his own mind goes blank.  
«You’re right.» Leo says «Heroes save people, and I wasn’t even able to save myself.» he continues and Izumi wonders if this is an attempt of apology or if Leo is at least admitting that it was wrong of him to leave like that – to leave _him_ alone like some stupid kid he didn’t need at that time. Maybe, Izumi thinks, it’s a matter of forgiveness. Maybe he has forgiven him long ago, and he’s just unable to show it as usual. But then Leo is looking at him, a light, apologetic and yet provocative smile on his lips: «Were you, Sena? I mean, were you able to save people?»  
He punches him because he’s not stupid: Izumi knows very well what that question is implying – “ _you didn’t save me either Sena, so who are you to talk?_ ” – and he hates him like he has never before, not even when he was alone and he didn’t know what to do. Not even when Izumi was in front of Leo who was hiding in his home, being the shadow himself. He feels a wave of hatred and sadness and guilt so strong it almost makes him dizzy; Izumi is not even sure when he has approached Leo, shortening the distance between them so that his punch can meet Leo’s face.  
Izumi’s hand trembles. Leo looks at him, green eyes that purposely search for blue ones. He’s not running away, that’s what Izumi sees in them and then he’s sorry, and angry and—  
«It was _you_ who run away!» he shouts «And you were hiding, and I found you and I hated it but your sister—» he bites his lips. He doesn’t want to involve that little girl who asked for help because she didn’t not what to do anymore apart from worrying about horrible things a little sister shouldn’t even think about.  
Izumi pushes with all his body strength and Leo doesn’t resist; it’s the wall that stops their steps, when Leo hits it with his back. Izumi grabs the other’s shirt and draws him near so that their faces are just a few inches apart: Leo’s cheek is a bit red. Izumi decides he won’t apologize for hitting him.  
«I tried. _You_ rejected the option and then you disappeared God knows where. So no, I didn’t save people. But, at least, I kept fighting for those I wasn’t able to save.» he growls, his breath a bit laboured.  
It’s Leo’s turn to grab his collar. Izumi expects to be punched, but all Leo asks is: «And now you hate me, Sena? Because I was the worst among the Kings, do you hate me even now?»  
Izumi tries to say “yes”. He tries to stubbornly, unreasonably say that he hates him; it’s like the stupid act of spite of a kid. But they’re not kids anymore. And even if a part of him tells him Leo deserves to know how it feels like to be rejected, Izumi can’t bring himself to say it – that’s the only lie he would never be able to tell.  
He doesn’t answer, but he averts his eyes and that’s all Leo needs, probably.  
Izumi hears a quiet «Neither do I.» before Leo’s lips are on his, a bit chapped but still very soft. If this was one of the fairytales Izumi hates so much, he should be surprised or shocked or angrier than before. And maybe he is, but he has also craved for this. So he kisses Leo back, because he’s not a prince and certainly not a princess.  
There are a few, uncertain small kisses that are totally innocent, like they are studying each other and their respective reactions. Soon Leo bites Izumi’s lower lip, then he licks it and Izumi knows he just wants to provoke him, that it’s not meant to hurt; it works. He loosens his hold on Leo’s collar and his hands start to wander along his torso, his hip. He hears Leo chuckling, breathing on Izumi’s lips. He’s not sure if he should ask or not and in the end he doesn’t, but he moves his head so that Leo isn’t able to play with his lip anymore. The other makes an annoyed sound, looking at him like a spoiled child who’s not used to be interrupted while he’s having fun. What Izumi doesn’t expect is to see Leo tilting his head and biting his neck: this time there’s a bit of strength, and he can’t help to moan in complain. Leo then licks the same spot, and bites again, lighter this time and then he sucks his skin and Izumi lets out another, softer moan. He feels Leo smiling against his skin. He grabs his arms and pushes him against the wall once again. It doesn’t seem to hurt Leo – not that Izumi stays still to observe him. He moves almost immediately and he kisses Leo again, this time less innocently.  
Leo’s lips part and his tongue slides in Izumi’s mouth. It’s a bit surprising, but just for the first, few moments: Izumi’s sure he has never felt like this, not even once. There’s a warm feeling in his stomach and his heart is starting to beat faster. Leo’s mouth is _so hot_ that he feels excited, so much that he doesn’t notice that they’re slowly moving – Leo walks and so does Izumi, because of some sort of inertia, going backwards. Maybe Izumi realises it at some point, but how is he supposed to think clearly when Leo whispers directly in his mouth and repeats «Sena… Sena…» like it’s some kind of spell? His voice is so quiet and so needy, in its own way, that Izumi shivers.  
When they stop kissing they’re breathless. Leo looks at him and his eyes are clouded by what Izumi recognises as pleasure.  
They should talk. They should apologise to each other. They should remember themselves that next week they won’t be students or Knights’ members anymore. But, maybe, they aren’t already. Maybe they are once again in an abandoned classroom worked as a secret place just for them. That’s all their world, now, and Izumi’s never been one who says things out loud anyway – not the things that show how deeply he loves someone.  
One of Leo’s hand slides down along Izumi’s waist and reaches his hand: he intertwines their fingers together like it’s the most obvious thing to do, like it’s not the first time they do it. His other hand is unfastening Izumi’s jacket and shirt; when he’s done, the same hand slips under the fabric and caresses Izumi’s torso. It makes him shiver with excitement and anticipation, and it makes him feeling brave enough to move his leg and place it between Leo’s thighs. The friction is a bit clumsy, because that’s the first time Izumi has let someone be so _close_ , so _intimate_ and this is so embarrassing he could die. However, that’s something he truly desires and the moment he realises it he feels his face blushing.  
Leo stares at him and Izumi has never felt so weak.  
«Sena» Leo calls his name again, low voice and warm breath against his chin. Izumi swallows; for a brief moment he wonders what the other wants to say, but it’s Leo they’re talking about: he never said “goodbye”, he will never say “I’m sorry” and probably he won’t explain himself.  
«Fuck off.» Izumi hisses, and their mouths almost collide in a kiss that’s not tender at all. If Leo’s teeth has grazed his lower lip before, now it’s Izumi’s turn to bite, to lick and then the kiss becomes ravenous, wetter than the first one and it’s not romantic at all – not because Izumi doesn’t love him. On the contrary it’s because he loves him _too much,_ because it’s Leo the one good with words, Leo who says important things like they’re not important at all, like he’s not showing the most vulnerable part of his heart.  
Izumi’s has always been scared of him and yet, at the same time, he needs to be like him in some aspects, he feels the urgency to taste him and to have him, it’s the urge to assimilate himself with everything that seems so natural to the other. It makes him feel embarrassed and it’s hilarious because he knows how stupid his King is, how pitiful he can be and yet, to his eyes, Leo has always been that one and only existence he’s always needed.  
If he touches him, will he be able to bind him so that Leo never disappear again?  
«Don’t think.» it’s a peremptory whisper, and Izumi obliges. Their kisses grow to the point they become indecent – Leo’s hand caresses his skin, goes down, unfastens his trousers and slides in his pants. Izumi jolts, and Leo laughs against his lips, moving his head to reach Izumi’s neck: he licks and sucks his fair skin while his hand starts moving so slowly that Izumi growls in discontent.      
Leo’s fingers are long and cool against his hot erection; Izumi moans, low and excited sounds that leave his mouth without a care in the world, and since their position makes it possible he nibbles at his ear, sucks his lobe. Leo hums in content while he keeps marking Izumi’s neck, his fingers brushing against the tip of Izumi’s arousal.  
«You stupid—» Izumi hisses again, but his remark becomes a sweet, soft groan when Leo’s strokes become faster. Suddenly, green eyes are in front of him, looking at him like their owner were a hungry beast: their noses brush against each other and their mouths are merely a inch apart.  
«You should call me by my name.» Leo whispers, touching Izumi’s lips in a way that can’t be called kissing. He’s doing it on purpose. Stupid, shitty King— «And you should touch me too, Sena.»  
And Izumi does it: his hand – the one that isn’t still holding Leo’s – unfastens the other’s trousers, mimicking Leo’s doing, and in their clumsy movements their erections rub against each other, giving them a rush of pleasure Izumi doesn’t know how to control.  
He doesn’t try to. Leo’s panting in the open-mouthed kisses they exchange; the hand holding Izumi’s tightens the grasp like that’s the only way so that their legs don’t give up.  
Leo’s mouth is incredibly hot and Izumi knows that’s where they will stop, that they are in a dusty classroom, that they are full of unsaid apologies and hidden feelings but he doesn’t care – not now, not while Leo is melting in front of him, kissing him like he _needs_ every single thing that Izumi has always (unconsciously) been ready to give him.  
It’s not a loud cry, the one they voice when they come; it’s muffled – and obscene – because they are still kissing.  
They are still breathless when Leo starts to say something: he seems exhausted, half-closed eyelids that partially hide his green eyes when he tries to tell him he loves him; Izumi bites his lips, not too hard but not too soft either. He gets Leo’s attention and that’s all he needs.  
«Don’t say it.»  
Because Leo always says he loves people, things, his Knights – he has said that to Izumi too, so many times, and maybe Izumi is a coward too because he still isn’t brave enough to say he loves him too. But they know. Even without saying, even in their own way, they know.  
Maybe because they’re both cowards too pitiful for this world.  
Isn’t that okay, since this is not a fairytale?  


End file.
